Ep #160: How to overcome adversity postpartum depression with Loraine "Coach Clari" Collins

In this episode, I speak with Lorraine Collins, also known as Coach Clary, a mental health coach specializing in postpartum depression. 

Inspired by her personal struggle with depression after giving birth to her daughter, Coach Clary shares her journey from despair to healing and how she turned her hardship into a path to help others. 

This episode delves into the distinction between postpartum blues and postpartum depression and offers valuable information and advice for those dealing with depression. She also shares a heartwarming poem reflecting her journey. 

The episode ends with Coach Clary reminding listeners battling depression that they're not alone and that they are worthy of life.

00:02 Introduction and Guest Presentation

00:52 The Inspiration Behind Mental Health Coaching

02:43 The Turning Point: A Life-Changing Phone Call

04:20 The 'Hello' Moment: A Dream and a New Perspective

05:40 Sharing a Personal Poem: 'Thank God for my Child'

07:34 Understanding Postpartum Depression

11:07 Advice for Those Struggling with Depression

11:46 Connecting with Coach Clary

11:59 Conclusion and Gratitude

Where to find Coach Clari:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ClarisTidbits
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/claris_tidbits/
Website: claristidbits.com

Transcript

0:00

Welcome back to another episode of the Healthiest Dorsey Podcast. I have coach Clary today on the show. How are you doing today? I am doing fine. How are you? I'm doing well. So tell everyone who you are and what you do. Okay, so my name is Lorraine Collins, a. k. a. Coach Clary. I'm a single mother of a beautiful 20 year old daughter. She's going to be 21 in February. And it is the birth and the period of me going through, a period in my life with her birthing her and going through a period that inspired me to become a mental health coach. And that's what I do. I do Clarice Tibbetts is I'm the CEO of Clarice Tibbetts, LLC, and it's a firm that a company that specializes in postpartum depression postpartum care. Let's talk about the inspiration behind your message on mental health. Okay, the inspiration behind my message on mental health is when my daughter was 6 months old. First of all, I should mention that when I was pregnant with my daughter, I didn't have a strong support system. And after I had my daughter, I went through a period where It was very stressful for me. I went through feeling a sense of unworthiness, a sense that I could not successfully be a mother. And so it left me depressed and in despair. It incurred suicidal depression incurred suicidal depression to a point so bad that I had Bell's Palsy. To those that don't know, your audience, it's when you have a paralysis. a hemiparalysis of your face. So I went through a period like that and I had to use an eye patch to alleviate the stress of light on my eyes. But by the time my daughter was six months old I became so depressed that I thought suicidal I had suicidal and homicidal ideations. I thought a bathtub submersion was the best result for my myself and my daughter. And because of that there came a day that I was in the process of filling up the tub with water. And As I was in the process of doing that to put my daughter in it and then stepping in and tell myself after I realized she's going to sleep forever sleep. While I was in the process of doing that, I had a telephone call. That was so annoying that I could not avoid it when I finally did answer the call. It was one of my older sister on the phone and she was calling to inform me that someone we both knew and love was also going through suicidal depression also having suicidal ideations. and, That enabled me to realize, okay, I'm not the only one on earth who thought I wasn't unworthy. And perhaps maybe just maybe I could get through this. So when she told me that, and I hung up the phone with her. I was just sat on my bathroom floor crying for what seemed like forever after that I ended up calling a pastor friend of mine simply because I didn't know what to do with the tears that would not cease. So I called him. And when I called him. Immediately, he started speaking scriptures to me. He must have heard the tears in my voice. And that was the, my turning. That was the decision that put me on this path to become a mental health coach. Oh, wow. So let's talk about, it sounds like you had That moment, that hello moment. So let's talk about it a little bit more. Let's talk about a time in your life or that particular situation where you had a hello moment. Okay. My hello moment was after that, after the period of. Me being in the bathroom with my daughter in the process of filling up the tub, having that phone call from my sister, then talking to the pastor friend of mine. Sometime after that, I had a dream and in that dream, I believe an angel of the Lord came and he visited me. And I was with my daughter in the dream and because the angel of the Lord came and visited me and my daughter, it made me come to the point. Of realization that, okay, I'm going to be all right. My daughter is going to be all right. That was my hello moment. That life is, it's not over. It's not over because I thought it was. I honestly thought life had come to an end, but that was my hello moment to get through that period. I love it so much. It's so inspirational. I thank you so much for sharing it because I know it's so many people out there, so many new mothers or not even new mothers, you know, it could happen to any mom in general or any person in general, who's having those thoughts and experiencing that. So I thank you so much for coming on and sharing it with us. Let's share your poem. So this poem was written sometime after I went through my depression, my postpartum depression. Depression, like you said, can it happened to postpartum depression is significant to a woman sometimes may go through it as well, but specifically woman after giving birth to a child. All right. And this is entitled. Thank God for my child. She's my little angel sent from above, my precious little bundle of love. But when I looked at her hands and feet and realized just how much she needed me, responsibility gripped me with fear. I loved her, love her still, but the enemy snuck in with what's classified Postpartum syndrome. It's not something faked or imagined by a woman to receive attention. No, it was real. A sense of despair was all I could feel. But isn't it funny? Now I miss those ten little fingers and ten little toes because they don't cling to me as much anymore. Now I miss those ten little fingers and ten little toes because, oh. How those fingers and toes have grown. My precious little child is now taller than me. God has blessed the intelligent little mind with great big ideas. And isn't it funny what the enemy may use to destroy you, God uses to build your character. For where there was depression, God's restored my joy and laughter. Thank God for my child. It is beautiful. It really is. That's awesome. So I'm going to be platform to go ahead and talk a little bit more about and I'm a little bit more deeper into postpartum depression. I know you want to mention the diversities in that. So can you go ahead and share that a little bit more. Okay. Some people get confused between postpartum blues and postpartum depression. So let me clarify that. Postpartum blues is a period where, okay, you're, you've just given birth to your baby. You're used to getting the attention while you're pregnant because everybody wants to rub your skin. Stomach and, oh, she's such a pretty mommy, and they give you that attention. Once you have the baby and you go home with your bundle of joy, you're not getting that attention anymore. That attention is now towards the baby. So you end up having what we call postpartum blues. And postpartum. Blues doesn't last long, however, postpartum depression is something much, much more severe. Postpartum depression is. It incures suicidal depression, suicidal thoughts and homicidal thoughts, like I mentioned for myself. And it could be very, very, very detrimental if you don't see therapy or some source of outlet. Because it has been in the news where parents have done. Things to their children or mothers have done things to their children because they are going through, or they have experienced postpartum depression. Postpartum depression is a hormonal imbalance. It's up in the brain. It's, it's like the poem says, it's not something fake. It really is a disease, an illness, just like how if you have diabetes, or if you have high blood pressure, or if you have a heart attack or any other illness, it's a real illness. It's a hormonal imbalance. However, there are factors that can bring about it. Bring it on are factors that can trigger it, so to speak. Not having a strong support system while you're going through pregnancy could fact be a factor that is recognized when you do go through it. For me, it was, I did not have the strong support system and also it, the hormonal imbalance. It just is what it is. My, my daughter asked me, she's, like I said, she's 20 years old. She asked me not too long ago, and I never had, I knew she had this notion in mind. I didn't know. And she asked me, Mommy, was it my fault that you went through this? And I had to explain to her, no baby, this is not your fault. It can happen to any woman. Anyone, it's not the child's fault and it's not the mother's fault. Sometimes you're you take the best care you take your brunado kick pills and everything you do everything and it still occurs. It's an emotional imbalance. For those of you who are struggling with this or know someone that are struggling with this to kind of, like, get a better understanding of what it is and, you know, and how can occur. So, I thank you so much for explaining that in detail for our audience. So, any last minute advice that you have for our listeners out there? Advice that I have for anyone going through depression, not just postpartum depression, anyone going through depression, you're not alone. No matter how dismal your situation may appear, no matter how dark your time, your period seems, you're not alone. You're not the only one on God's beautiful green earth that feel like you're unworthy of the gift of life. You're worthy. You are worthy. You're wonderfully and perfectly made. So beautiful. Well said. Thank you so much for that. So where can everyone find you? You can find me at claristidbits. com. That's C L A R I S T I D B I T S dot com. Awesome. And we'll definitely link those up in the show notes. Well, thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing your inspiration, your poem, and your knowledge on this. I really do appreciate it. You're welcome. You have a wonderful day. Thank you.