Ep# 144: How to have meaningful connections in business and personal life with Sarah Moore

In today's episode, I have Sarah Moore on the show talking all about how to have meaningful connections in business and personal life. 

Sarah spent 11+ years coaching women at every level of an organization from Senior Executives to Emerging Leaders, from start-ups to global brands. Her varied background in industries such as retail, journalism, and oil and gas, and extensive years living abroad, all have one thing in common; most every decision was born out of passion and purpose. 

With that in mind, the bottom line is, Sarah coached women to know what they want, to have the courage to say it, and pursue it. She wants women to feel even more confident, to speak up in meetings and board rooms with ease, to communicate effectively in all of their relationships, to feel comfortable in their own skin, and to be seen as one heck of a leader.

Where to find Sarah:
 
Website: https://www.mooresoulsessions.com/
Email: Sarah@mooresoulsessions.com

Transcript

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Welcome back to another episode of the Hello C. S. Dorsey podcast. I have Sarah on the podcast today. How are you doing today, Sarah? Candice, I am excited, grateful, and full of love. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you do? I would love to. My name is Sarah Moore. I'm a life and leadership coach, and I have a coaching business called More Soul Sessions. The team and I, after many years, have really landed in a sweet spot of realizing that we are on a mission to help women redefine what it means to feel full of ourselves. I think so often that has such a negative connotation. Words like arrogant, being too big for our britches, being conceited come to mind. And we say, heck no. We say that a woman who is full of herself is firstly the most beautiful thing you'll ever see. That it's really an act of humility. And it's all about having the audacity to love who you are. So we do that through one on one coaching. I just wrote a book called Full of Herself that I'm really proud of. And we also lead workshops and retreats for women as well. You know what I heard that. Like throughout my whole childhood, um, they used to say something else, the, um, the, uh, older generation, I think it's smelling herself or something like that, or you're smelling yourself, or it was something to that effect that was like, you're being a sassy, or you being a bad girl, or you being fast or something like that. So, um, I'm happy it's coming back in a positive manner. I never heard that one before. I'll add it to the archives. Yes, please do. Yeah, they used to say, oh, you're smelling yourself, huh? Oh, my gosh, the things we say. I know, right? So let's talk about the inspiration behind you starting your business. What was that like for you? It was, it was an interesting moment. I feel as though coaching found me. Um, I, I was on a path of trying a few different things, really borne out of passion and purpose. And I'm glad I tried all of them. And what I didn't know when I started coaching was that I was really on a path to developing a more meaning relationship with myself. And so when I started training to be a coach, I thought, Oh, great, I'm going to learn these tools and these techniques to go out and help other people. And the greatest surprise was being in that year long coaching training program and realizing Oh, I have to apply these tools to myself, not only to learn how I can help somebody else use them, but also because if I'm going to walk in integrity as a coach, it's going to be vital. I couldn't have put this in to these words then. That I'm also walking the journey and so I fell in love with personal development as I was going through that program and I'd already had a precursor to it, which was being in a 12 step program for a couple of years before that. And so I already had this vehicle that was helping me keep the focus on myself, look at myself and my behaviors and how I wanted to change. And so naturally, as I started the coaching journey, um, I realized, you know. This is absolutely where I'm supposed to be. And I was inspired by the changes I was seeing in myself first and foremost, and then equally got just as excited about how these tools and techniques could help another woman on her journey as well. Can you remember a time in your business or starting out where you had a hello moment? Yeah. I was like, hello, when I first learned about what a life coach was, I was working in the lingerie business. I'd wanted to start my own bra boutique. This was one of my passion careers before coaching. And. Almost as soon as I started working in that industry, I realized I didn't want to own my own bra boutique because one, a store is always open and that seemed like it was for the birds for me. And two, the concept I had in mind already existed in this business that I joined. And so I knew I wasn't going to go down that path. I knew I liked my job. And I also knew I wasn't going to stay there forever. So I feel as though I was open, right? I was sort of content where I was and I was open because I knew there was going to be something else beyond this. And when we're open, things come along our path and we're able to notice them. And so what came in my path was an article about a life coach. I was living in Houston, Texas at the time, and the coach happened to be based in Houston. And I'd never even heard the term life coach. And as I started to read the article, I literally felt like, hello, this is the thing. When I was 14, Korean night. When a teacher asked me, you know, what do you want to be when you grow up? I remember saying I'd love to get paid to have intimate conversations. And yet, I knew I didn't want to be a therapist or a counselor. I just didn't know what the alternative was, and this article seemed to be everything I'd envisaged, but didn't know how to create, and I definitely didn't know I could get paid to do, and from reading that article, I actually reached out to that coach, and just to, just to introduce myself, and ask her a few questions, and she was Incredible. She showed me her whole business, like the nuts and the bolts of it. She invited me to her home and that whole experience totally solidified that this, at the very least, was going to be the next step on my journey, if not the very thing that I would probably walk for the rest of my life. I love the way you put that when you said you were, what, 14 years old and they asked you, what do you want to be? And I love the way you put it that you said, I want to get paid to have intimate. Conversations with people. Um, I don't think at 14 I was saying that so that just goes to show you like where your mindset was and and how you know you articulated and put things at such a young age. So that is brilliant. I love it. Thanks, Candice. I'll take the nod. I never really, I never thought about that as brilliant. And there was definitely a lot of clarity. That's for sure. Yeah, because you know, the thing of it is when you're that age, it's always the general, how can I put this? It's always the general career paths that will bring in income. And when I was in high school, it was always, um, people wanted to be a psychologist. That was, that was the it thing. During my time and I graduated in 2002 and so people go to school to be the psychologist psychology. That was the overarching theme of what people wanted to major in or nurse psychology or nurse. And I found that a lot of people who, you know, went to school and everything, they got their degree, but found out, no, I don't want to do this. And wind up changing their major into something else. So yeah, very interesting how detailed you were at that age. Bravo. Yeah, thanks. I think it's also worth noting, though, that while I had that level of clarity, I also felt like I sounded silly because I had no idea what it meant, and nobody around me really knew what it meant or how to shape it. So, to your point, I ended up going to university and starting a law degree because that was... more acceptable or more of a path that could be defined, right? I actually ended up dropping out of that and I started with law and Spanish and very quickly realized I didn't like law, it was too boring and dropped down to a languages degree, not dropped down, but kind of changed to a languages degree and was lucky enough that I loved that. And I'm so glad I studied it, and yet, also, at the end of it, going, Now what? Because I don't necessarily want to make a career out of this. So, it's such a wild journey that we can walk, trying to figure out who we are. But you're right, that hello moment was such a beautiful tie back to remembering being 14, and helped ground me in. Huh. Maybe there is something here and maybe I can trust myself in what I'm thinking and feeling. Let's talk about, having meaningful connections in business and personal life. Can you talk more about that? Yeah, I think that, no, I think I know from all of the women that. I've just been lucky enough to work with over the years that they are searching, just like I am, for a meaningful relationship. With myself and with the people around me and what we're looking to to do less of is to be in control, figure it out for solutions. And I think meaningful relationships are based in a,. Kind of a cooking pot of being able to be present right to to be present to ourselves to what you're saying. And that's the opposite of chasing something down and being an achiever and knowing all of the right answers. I often, um, share this physical gesture with my clients, which is taking a fist, your fist, and kind of bunching it up and tightening your grip and kind of wrapping those fingertips into the palm of your hand and squeezing as hard as you can and all of the tension that you feel in your muscles and in your arm, you know, it's a lot of work to be there, which is The analogy for striving and pushing through and getting it done and the opposite being, Oh, how can I just release that grip? How can I just be soft in my hand? Does it even feel natural or unnatural for my fingers to uncurl because I'm so used to being tense? And I think this state of learning how to let go a little bit more Um, let go of what I can't control specifically is a really nice gateway to developing a sense of connection with ourselves. So if it's not clear, you know, I'm a, I'm a go get a big thing, go, let's go spend years and years really trying to force my way into my vision of success. And so naturally. I attract women who are also experiencing the same and I've had to really redefine what success means. And in fact, I ask a lot of my clients that question early on in our relationship, what is your definition of success? And I'll tell you that never in over a decade of coaching. Thousands of women, also some men, all different types of careers, high flying, you know, don't have a career at all, married, not married, children, no children. Not one woman has been able to give me a clear answer to that question. And I think it's such a fundamental question. Because how do we know where we're headed? Or what we want to feel connected to, or who we want to feel connected to, if we don't know the answer to that. And so, I've really come to a definition of success that works for me, and it's this. Every moment, I'm being true to myself. That's my definition of success. I also happen to love Gabby Bernstein's definition of success, which is how much fun am I having, right? I am so guilty of taking things way too seriously and tending to make things harder than they need to be. That's what actually I love about your spirit. You, you, you feel so open and welcoming and light and I'm here for the ride and I'm here to enjoy what you have to say. And I'm attracted to people like you because it's the thing I want to develop more of, even though I have a, I've developed a pretty good dose of it after all of the work I've done. And so when I'm true to myself and I'm coming from a place of a little bit more lightness and a little bit more fun, it means I'm open to developing more of a relationship with myself. And the people around me, and that's, that's just the beginning, right, that's sort of the foundation from which then I can develop and teach particular skills that I think can help get me closer. But without that, I don't know that we have a real shot of understanding what true connection means and feels like. Oh, I love it. I love it so much. And I'm happy that you brought up the, what is your definition of success look like? Because oftentimes it's probably money related, you know, I mean, Do believe it all goes back to money related, like financial freedom. It all, some part will go to financial freedom. but it's so funny because as I get older, I'm starting to realize that time. is so valuable. It is the most important thing in my life. So now as I get older, that definition of success has definitely changed. Like it's no longer about money. It's about how much time can I give back, spend with my mom, spend just living and spend going to Disneyland. That is successful. And I know people, I know people like laugh at me like, How much time can I go to Disneyland? Like, I'm successful if I can go to Disneyland once a month. That's success to me. I love your answer. I actually slapped my desk like in joy because that to me... Feels and sounds like being full of yourself. That's success on your terms. That's about prioritizing what is meaningful to you. And for that reason, not one bit of it could ever sound silly. It's delightful. Good for you. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it took a while to get here, and it does take some soul searching, some working through, some getting rid of past experience, getting rid of past negative talk, and just being happy with who you are, where you at in life, and Bye. Bye. Who you ultimately want to become and what is your purpose? Like, I don't think we'll ever know what our purpose is. I mean, to be honest with you, because it will change over time. It depends on the journey. The journey is your purpose that wherever. Life leads you and take you because every day we are learning something new every single day. And like, you know, for instance, you're a coach, I'm starting to become a coach. Um, and you may not be a coach forever. You might be standing on stages, like with the big names. Inspiring someone in front of a massive audience and then that might lead you to being on TV somewhere. So it's ever changing, you know, you never know what you want to be in life. It's just, I'm enjoying the ride, you know, yeah. Amen, sister. I was thinking the same thing as you were there, you know. I mean, having a goal is not about reaching the goal. It's about who we become in the process of getting to the goal. And we miss that because America, especially we are so goal oriented, money oriented, as you talked about in sort of previous iterations of what success look like. And. I love this, right? When I'll ask a client, okay, you know, what, what's a goal you have for our coaching relationship just as a way of getting to know them. I really don't mind. I don't care too much about the answer because to your point, I know it's going to change anyway. And then I say, great. How would it make you feel to get the goal? They're like, Oh, well, maybe my goal is, you know, I want to be able to speak up more confidently with leadership above me, right? That's something I hear a lot. I'm fine with my team, but more senior leadership. I'd like to speak up more comfortably. Great. How would that make you feel? Well, it would make me feel proud, confident, um, hopeful, let's say. And I, and then I go, great. Well, your real goal is. How do you cultivate pride, confidence, and hopefulness in yourself? The goal just happens to be the way that you're going to do that. And it's only one way. Right. So let's think about the conditions where those feelings can thrive. And so it's such a great reminder, you know, things are just always changing and we have to be flexible. Otherwise, we're going to get stuck. And that's where we really get in trouble. Any last minute advice you have for our listeners out there? Yeah. One thing I coach mostly women, like 99 percent women. And the thing that we get tripped up over. over and over again is worrying about what other people think of us. It inhibits our ability to use our voice. Um, to stand up and share an opinion, to put on a certain outfit, and that's rooted in, oh my gosh, what will they think? And so the question I'd love for you to start using more is, what do I think? Right? What do I think about myself? If I'm centered and spirituality or God is sort of at the center of my life, something bigger than yourself, and that's guiding you. What do I think about how I feel in this outfit? What do I think about sharing my idea? It's a really great practice point to start putting your own opinion about yourself above The opinions that others have of you. I love it so much. Where can everyone find you? like I said, our business is more Soul sessions. I'm saying our'cause. I have such a beautiful team of women who work with me. Um, so more like my last name, m o o r e, mors soul sessions.com. And my email is sarah@morssoulsessions.com. And then we're on Instagram. Um, at more. soul. sessions. Awesome. We'll definitely link those up in the show notes. Well, Sarah, thank you so much for coming on, um, the show today. This has been really, really helpful and valuable. You're a real light. I so appreciate you. Thanks for the conversation.